Tuesday, November 4, 2003

i talked to her yesterday. its been a long time. a year almost since i last heard her voice. 3 years of distance. sometimes it seems as though we are worlds apart.

we talked a bit. did some catching up. he has something with her now. i was taken by surprise. he had seemed so normal the other day. hmm. secrets that ppl shuffle at the back of their minds. put on a facade.

theres a thin line between truth and lies. lies are a fraction of manipulated truth. should anyone be given the incentive to lie? so they could call it a white lie as if that was any more respectful than a lie. so much variation, too much deviation.

given the time he had presented me previously, he was perfect. which in turn made it a perfect puppy love. he handed me the present so in future he would remain the past. n he had given much to me. somehow, he never took that back.

i blame me for what he is today. i had left a permanent damage. he managed to heal despite my manipulations. but as he healed, he evolved. now it aint worth it.

am i lovestruck? lovelorn? depressed?
do i need help? do you know what i need?
i dont know what i want?
but do you know what i need?

perhaps im just a silly girl who complicates herself with all these silly emotions. perhaps i need something to occupy my time. i said something, not someone. please note.

n so my mundane life goes on. i was on time today. n i left my mobile at home. i wanted to get it back. then i thought to myself, its not going to ring anyway.

i miss you-incubus

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