Wednesday, March 10, 2004

well. today was today. like any other day. went to town to get my project done. all tt balloon sculpturing rewarded me with spiderman. tt was great news. lunching with the guys from my class was different but it was fun. oh plus they complain like girls do.

im a stranger to most familiar faces. i dont socialize much i guess. if it hits off, i grab a chance instantaneuosly. which may be why i landed on the superficial grounds of today. i'll let you stand on the outside, but looking in, the choice is yours really.

i dont know what your super-intentions are. but better or worse off, i knew tt renewed a part of me i had wanted to be gone. uve always had a way. i dno whether i should be mad, glad or sad.

for a fraction of time, i had divided some and gave it to you. the madness multiplied. why a "sorry" when you could have given me "thanks".

if theres anything ive learnt is tt an opinion is just a different point of view. different people have different perspectives. my joy could be your sorrow. my tears could be your smiles. my fears could be your weapon. nothing is gratified. i dont see ur microscopic intentions, i dont see your sufferings. but it doesnt mean it isnt there.

i know tt this eventful happening or mishappening hits every boat like a tidal wave does. i caused the storm to strike everyone, inclusive of you. small or big, some part was damaged.

ive heard you talk about her. in the past, it was love in your eyes. now u uttered the extreme opposite words u once said to her so dearly with the same mouth. are u the same person when my turn comes?

i lie shipwrecked. i almost drowned in my own sorrow, my own fears, my own delusions, my own thoughts. at its very least, i was glad it was mine, it belonged to me and it'll only go if i wanted it to. i havent survived the storm. so now i sit silently and alone, waiting for a signal.

im oblivious and ignorant to have not considered the part you played and the parcels u gave me. tt makes me selfish. a friend said tt pain cannot me measured in notes. then why do i care if u do not return the sentiments i gave to you.

i heard your voice today. i listened for details. u left me something. some consolation. tt consolation made me wander around alone aimlessly looking for hope. n it tore the edges i had left. i sat where we used to sit. n i waited. i waited for something tt wasnt coming. the atmosphere awoke and it looked at me as if some part was missing.

will tt missing part be gone permanently. will it haunt me. will it come back. only you have the answers.

but i believe i should be fine. i do not need another person to make me whole. because i've had someone who taught me that i was never half, tt i was never incomplete.

and you gave me another sorry i didnt mean to. so which part of this fairytale did u mean n did u not mean.

still.

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