Sunday, August 29, 2004

the junk of the heart

long weekend
long time til the next

i hate sundays. sunday is a greedy bastard who wanted more than 6 days.

im wondering how much fun it would be if i had attended womad. i really liked last year's line-up. nitin sawhney's performance grabbed me by the balls and sounded so surreal and beautiful altogether. an ideal convenience.

last year, in ancient womad history, everything was in a different position. now, things have taken a shift for the better, for good i hope.

emotional or reason. which one do you obey ?
i'd obey emotions, but the rule would be to reason.

oftentimes we rationalize mistakes done by us or others. but when someone reacts in accordance to no reason, we always make an exception. the human heart has this unnerving will to forgive. these physics only makes sense to me subconsciously.

ive always been one to nourish hate. it is the strong that can forgive. with this, i am mortified and weak again.

ive learnt today that you cant pay hate with hate. i used to think that hate motivates me. it drives me into this illogical state of being where anything becomes a reason to quench my thirst. yes maybe, i still feel that way. but sometimes, its just best to live and let live. to de-magnify our own imperfections. to remind ourselves to forgive. to keep our feet on solid ground, because what goes up must come down.

there will always be certain events in your life that you love, hate, regret and for one, can never forget. if we bury the pain in our chest to carry day to day, wouldnt we be heavy-weighters by now.

i propose to myself that instead we should use all of these as a catalyst, as a stepping stone. every one of it makes your history, history.

we move closer to our dreadful destination. as it has been written, we are all doomed. while we're at it, we might as well enjoy ourselves.

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