Sunday, July 31, 2005

table 62

sanity isnt something very permanent when you have it. after all, we all lose a bit of sanity as we get older.

you tell me that things are not as they seem but sometimes i swear i hear a small cry of desperation, silent screams all in favour of letting go. but you wont tell me this, why. maybe because i knew too well.

when the past decides to drop you a visit, sometimes you arent too sure of an appropriate reaction. even more, chances are that the past could stay longer than a visit. there must be a reason as to why the past was made a past. now that im presently mentioning the past, part of my being wants it to stay that way partly because the past would meddle with my present.

but i probably would not stop anything from becoming. if the present wants to stay in the past, then it shall be. it is only ironic... after all, those silent screams were you.

confusing relationships are my expertise. but its beginning to make me realize that i am losing the emotional clarity that i once had. in past tense, i would have known myself to be more selfless but now all i feel is this. it is so time-consuming and it has not only deluded my mind but it makes me forget who and how i want to be. because everything else is dismissed but this.

why do we make such compromises. compromising is like a choice, when it isnt.

if i were a book, my answer would have been a page away.

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