Tuesday, February 13, 2007

comforting sounds

i feel like i'm sharing solitude to a complete stranger. some days feel like it will never end. i'm on a downfall and still trying hard to grasp a low down of the situation.

if you didn't know yet, i have a sister. my father passed away some years ago. something unjustified came in the mail today and my dear heart goes to my sister who happens to be a stranger to me.

i also found out that my father along with his two siblings suffer/ed from ataxia. there is 50/50 probability that my sister and i could suffer the same fate. god forbid.

someone dear to me is suicidal and has played the absent card for over two weeks. she is depressed and wants nothing more than to die. somehow, i would think that i'd want the same for myself if i were her.

my exams are drawing near and i feel so close to giving up and not giving a fuck. there are times when you question yourself on why you're doing all this. what good comes out of it. is what you're doing really what you want or are you feeding on society's viral expectations and calling them your own.

i've heard a few mention that you should live your life to the fullest each and everyday. i say fuck that. i slave like a whore for 10 hours, sleep for 8, 2 hours for transportation and 1 hour for misc. so i'm left with 3 fucking hours to live life to the fullest eh? gee, i see how that works. every fucking day is exactly the same.

the world is a vampire. you best believe.

1 comment:

Linda NJ said...

is everything alright? wat happened? you need me to do anything?