i've been dreaming about doing my last semester at loughborough university itself. i realize that these westerners somewhat discrimate asians. then again, asians hate asians, black hate blacks. if it wasn't race, there are a million other things you can pick on on someone else.
we, the proud children of mother singapore, live in a multi-racial society in so-called harmony. the reality of it all is that our races do make us different. if you look at the recruit, most jobs have that one requirement which the rest of us cannot satisfy; bilingual (english and mandarin). surely, the rest of us can pick up mandarin by taking courses. the cynic of the rest of us would think that we have to travel a mile further than the chinese people because malay is our mother tongue. i, the very malay girl, know so well that when malays do not succeed, we tend to blame chinese for it. its not that we hate the chinese but its just that racial differences seem more evident and easily embraced. i say this with a disclaimer that this is merely by observation. i love you chinky people especially during chinese new year (long public holiday).
well, back to loughborough. i would assume that i would be mistaken for filipino or somewhere along that line. damn, i could actually be the female pedro! i would imagine feeling lonely and angry party due to my own shyness or my lack of association with people. i can't pretend to be interested unless i'm getting something out of it. selfish eh, i know. it feels like i'm thrown into the middle of the ocean and i'm being forced to swim to the shore. the people who threw me there don't care if I can swim because they know that I can float. therefore, i can learn. i assume that this rationale works in this situation.
i would have to be independent and make my own bed, cook my own meals, drive my own car and watch porn in loneliness(kidding!). its great to know that the world is not as small as singapore, we can cross borders, swim oceans, illegally migrate, yeah! i wonder if i would turn out to be one of those anal-ly confident people who come home from studying abroad with an impeccable accent (padahal gi blajar kat KL jer).
i wonder if jokes from singapore are legit across borders. then i can play the girl who brings joy in times of pain (or not).
eh, i'm dreaming la. first, i have to make official plans and most importantly, i need to save heaps of benjamin franklin. by the way, is there a face in euro dollars? or is there an eiffel tower?
i was thinking about going for rachael yamagata. she is my cup of tea but fiona apple is my glass of water. she is the essential one.