Thursday, January 3, 2008

around my way

i had the best birthday a few days ago. the boys signed a huge card and bought me a birthday cake. freaky z made the crowd sing a birthday song for me during floetry and we had pizza thereafter. i was really touched by the gesture and i'm forever grateful. we went to rouge for drinks and we had an intensive taboo game. thanks izaril and everyone involved for making it such a lovely one.

we spent new year's at woodlands because the boys had a show. i have been sick for several days and i'm still unwell so i wasn't really into everything. since then, events took a tumultuous turn. i've had quite a bad start to 2008 but it means as much to me as just a another day. i suppose desire is akin to sin and no sin goes unpunished. so, be careful of what you wish for.

i'm really not into celebrating just because the year's last digit took another count. so, resolutions merely make a list of things that you'd fail to do for the year. but i suppose everyone needs a teether for change to come.

this year, i should have bsc added to my name, if i ever have a namecard. hopefully, all will go well. i will be looking for a job come march or april. knowing how unadventurous and unambitious i am, i will prolly settle for anything that pays the average for minimal work. i am about as dull as the colour grey.

so, during floetry when i was asked to make a birthday wish, the first thing that came to mind was happiness. now, i'm contemplating that wish. perpetual happiness is but an endless contradiction. euphoria is a state of imagination beyond human understanding.

this came across me today; if in the garden of eden was perpetual happiness, did adam and eve took a bite of the forbidden apple because they were bored of perpetual happiness? i would imagine heaven to be perpetual happiness so wouldn't that in itself seem problematic for human understanding. maybe, its an unearthly feeling that you will know only in the hereafter, beyond rationality but your heart trusts and accepts it despite your lack of understanding. perhap, i have masochistic tendencies. i find that pain makes happiness, happier. i think thats quite normal because life would be dull without its ups and downs.

anyway, i'm not debating religion. i can't imagine a world in which people do not have religion. we need something bigger than ourselves, we really do.


Disco-Yehoodi! said...

"if in the garden of eden was perpetual happiness, did adam and eve took a bite of the forbidden apple because they were bored of perpetual happiness?"

That fucking overwhelmed me. Like seriously. I don't know why. But I like it.

adrenalene.xs said...

yeah. it completely overwhelmed me when i came across it too. chuck palahniuk said it.

you should read his books. dier mind-blowing son of a mother!