Monday, April 7, 2008

your heart is an empty room

i've lost count of the number of hours i've spent on online shopping, which is something i feel very unproud of. i've been refreshing pages on livejournal communities and i swear girls are the craziest bunch of materialistic freaks, myself inclusive. the good stuff are gone within 15 minutes after the entry posted. i can't believe i've become one of the many who sits by the pc, refreshing the page every other second. i disgust me!

i've been so unproductive and i feel like one of those ungodly creatures awaiting to devour the night with my existence or lack thereof. the question about where future pastures lie for me has struck me several times and i so often use sarcasm as a coping mechanism to avoid the pain of actually thinking it through. the thought of it is so taxing because every decision leads to a series of other decisions. thereafter, it becomes a compilation of many nothings which really means everything, and in short, a mess.

i should really eliminate my avoidance attitude and deal with reality. i can't believe how i lie through my teeth pretending to be this people-loving person in that interview the other day. the situation is very grim and the truth of the matter is that i've permanently given up on people, being the skeptic that i am. after all, humans struggle for their own interests.

i dno where this is going but i guess i'm back at groundzero.

4 comments:

Narayumi Higashikuni said...

me too. im an addict for online shopping. F5 each time when there's an update in Livejournal. boohoo.

adrenalene.xs said...

hello nurul!

i also. wahlau! we must stop leh. btw, phone sony ericsson tu cun seh!

Narayumi Higashikuni said...

yeayea. fyi tmr. 9th april.12noon check out this site. http://tracyeinny.livejournal.com/
will be posting their collection.

and yea. we must stop. but not so easy u noe. =p

adrenalene.xs said...

i go to tracyeinny all the time too! tapi the good stuff is always gone unless you want to trsf money to their bank account first then pick when their collection is up. kalau mcm gitu, like so kiasu seh.