Friday, September 5, 2008

high and dry

Food makes me high, fasting leaves me dry.

Time crawls, drags, creeps in the absence of food. And I, I weep. I await on tippy toes as the 6 hours tick 21 600 times before I can return to the ten plates of the meats and chunk. Did I mention that patience, a non-virtue of mine, wears ultra thin too?

To slightly push aside (careful choice of word when it comes to food, it should never be " push away" but better "push aside", and always "in front" or "in my tummy") the thought of food, I have been knighted a handbag partner in the form of Radya to indulge in your overpriced purses, and we buy it at less than half the prices you paid. Suuucccckers.

We have been proactively discussing and hunting for losers who discard what they will describe as junk, and we, being the accidental geniuses we are, adopt the neglected overpriced junk as gems. Very much like the rag and bone man, xept with better shoes and clothes.

And you're thinking collecting junk will save costs, right? I'm only saving opportunity cost lor, which I'm sure is pretty immeasurable and can never quite be cold hard cash. Besides, you don't go up to your potential life partner and say "Come, lets get married. I've saved alot of opportunity cost in my bank account. There would be enough for the both us." Ridiculous, I know! And you write textbooks and more books about opportunity cost. Gee-sus.

And now, for my ingenious conclusion : Not eating means more dispensable income. More dispensable income means more buying of bags. More buying of bags leads to more buying of bags which will lead to less money.

Let me paint a picture for you:

How did I move a pyramid from Egypt all the way to Singapore by just talking about food? Ahah, that only comes with genuine ultra authentic super duper powers. Super-duper long-winded power, that is.

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