Monday, April 20, 2009

after laughter comes tears

My first Tioman trip was an unforgettable adventure complete with a thousand little details. I knew that this trip would take me out of my element and into nature unbound equations.

I ventured into the forest in the still of the night.
I swam the inner depths of the ocean among fishes and corals till I was scared shitless.
I saw the moonless night with an ocean of a thousand stars.
I climbed the rocks to find joy in a sight I thought unimaginable.
I saw pitch darkness and found light in fireflies.
I saw my first shooting star and two others.
I rode in a speedboat through the ebb and flow of choppy waters in south china sea.
I sat against the rocks with the waterfall beating against my back faster than my heartbeat.
I lost all sense of time and was only present in the moment, for the moment.
I saw the sunset and the sky turn to gold.
I found a thousand diamonds sparkling in the water reflecting the sun that belonged to all of us.

I enjoyed my ocean-worshipping, flip-flopping days thoroughly which is making me rethink my concrete-living ways. I am suffering withdrawal symptoms from the trip and feeling so suddenly boxed in. I was so deep in awe of the simple life that doesn't need bureaucracy to function. I am tired of meeting deadlines instead of mingling with nature.

Beauty is just around the corner but we so often forget to look at it because we've built a fortress and walled in our minds.

I know that I pay too much attention to alot of nonsense and hardly to things that matter. Ugliness is so time-consuming and life is really too short to pay attention to such nano-nonsense.

I hate the feeling of returning home from a holiday. Home feels like a different place even though it all looks the same. You see the same faces, the same places but something in you has changed and you're trying all over again to adapt to this new you. You can't quite recognize what this little change is and it stirs you up inside.

Well, I must get over this asap because work beckons and there is nothing better I can do with my time except stress about the things that don't really matter when the world turns to dust. Time to please capitalism at the expense of everything I believe in because I am a social chameleon with very compromising ideals.

Well, I'll be seeing you. In the meantime, here's my favourite song.


Anonymous said...

you make me wanna go to Tioman, wherever that is. i feel like loser stuck in singapore. actually, stuck in my house, in the living room, at the coffee table to be exact. the place where i sit has got imprints of my butt, which i am unable to locate nowadays. after my exams, im never going to ever look at textbooks ever again. I WILL BURN THEM.


adrenalene.xs said...

burn after reading!