To : firstname.lastname@example.org
Cc: Jesus; Moses
Dear Jakarta suicide bombers
I do not know nor understand your intentions for bombing Ritz Carlton and Marriot Hotel.
Since lightning doesn't strike the same place twice, please don't bomb Jakarta again, at least not in the next week.
Besides, I'm not really your target market. If you do decide to bomb again, please research your target area well so innocent lives (i.e.mine) are not sacrificed. Please stick the bomb up the derriere of someone who actually deserves it.
I would very much like to shop there to feed my worldly desires. I know how you are above material needs and serve a higher purpose beyond my walled in mind. I've never wrong-ed you in any direct way so please let me return in one piece and at peace.
Call me a pacifist but I accept my life, insecurities and dysfunctions. Acceptance is an art that should be mastered and I think you should try it.
I trust that faith is something you are familiar with. I have faith in you so please do the right thing.
P.S. Isn't this email just (ha)ji-nious! Ayo technology kan. Amen.