Monday, November 23, 2009

come out of the shade

Hello friends.

I've only had 4 hours of sleep and I'm totally stoning right now. It is highly inappropriate for a bummer to complain about lack of sleep especially with the likelihood of their highly scheduled calendars. So busy lah this life.

The truth is that my biological clock is totally screwed. I bade the world good night at 9am this morning. When I woke up at 1pm to do some housework, I decided that I'd spend some time with the sun because of my constant neglect of all things bright and burning.

Nah, actually, I'm not that in love with sun. I just really like to dictate long-winded shit like the modern day Hitler.

My plans to fix my bio clock involves super screwing with it by sleep deprivation and self-destruction. I'm too familiar with destruction paving way for creation so its nice to take it to literal terms.

Remember : We destruct in order to create. Oh, I can already feel the anarchist in me scheming against my hippie self. What gives.

I hope tonight I shall be super yawning and snoozing by 10pm.

I'd like to share with you songs both old and new that have kept me less solitaire on quiet stars of quiet nights.

  • Sara Bareilles - Gravity

The first time I really sat down to listen to this song, I broke down into a well of tears. Sara Bareilles wrote this song about her first real horrible heartbreak and she reminds me of mine

Its been so long since I've heard a real tearjerker. I remember quitting on all tearjerkers because they make me err on the side of unnecessary longing and emotions and I really don't want to be at that place, at that time.

But now, I handle it better, I suppose. These tears come from a happy place of love and acceptance that does not require ownership. I wouldn't have it any other way.

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