Sunday, January 17, 2010

refund, no?

This is a collective negotiation with I and I.

Problem :

As humanly possible, I try to show love to all my friends but lately I feel that this love is sometimes one-sided and unrequited.

Cause :

For this particular problem, my convenient excuse for all things imperfect is about quantities and measurement.

I think we're very used to measuring our success and happiness that we're always comparing. Subconsciously, we start giving and expecting in return. That expectation has total disregard for sentimental value which makes the maths for bastardizing people's efforts, hence reducing it to mere nothings.

... and this is bad, real bad, Michael Jackson.

Effect :

A problem becomes a problem with the power of thought. I've tried some hocus pocus but it wouldn't disappear so like all ghostly thoughts, this one needs confrontation and perhaps, exorcism.

Expectations that come with giving is a treacherous thing. You don't want to expect anything in return but at the back of your mind, there is a small voice that whispers undying hope.

When you realize that that undying hope is insatiable, you feel a small disappointment. Yet, to give and ask nothing is return is idealistic and elusive.

Conclusion :

Ask and you shall receive.

Perhaps, the receipt doesn't come in the same way it was given. I'm still learning this -

The fact that you can give freely means you have nothing to lose.

And I who have nothing, has everything to give.

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