Someone likes to play mind games with me. Whenever he says something nice to me, he has me thinking that I did something wrong and that he was being sarcastic. The past is proof enough for the present.
Fuck, I am not used to being at the other end of the spectrum, accepting the insults. Well, at least not in an in-your-face manner. What sucks donkey balls though, is the fact that it is in my best interest to accept his insults.
That got me thinking that at times my words are crude and harsh. Thats when stupid starts to take over me and I let the hateful words temporarily fill the void to my own insecurities.
I guess karma's a bitch hollering at my back. My heart is a coward. I need to be brave and love without fear.
The next time I feel bullied, I would holler back with patience and kindness. Well, I can only promise to try.
Top problem. Bottom solution. No wonder nothing ever gets solved.
love and light,
Your walking contradiction