Wednesday, February 23, 2011

headspace

Enjoy everything, need nothing.
I'm the kind of person who believes that coincidences are little signals that symbolizes a bigger picture. It's alot like destiny but that's not quite the word I'm looking for. Lately, I've chanced upon the above words more frequently, as if the universe was conspiring to tell me that I need nothing, hence, I have everything.

This does not serve as a melancholic cry for help, but rather a statement of solace, which partakes in solitude. I read something today about chasing dreams, pursuing happiness and finding peace for the sake of filling up the empty spaces. I'm beginning to wonder if the pursuit of an intangible object of desire makes it more distant. If your pursuit is of an ideal, your ensemble becomes a tedious task. I do not need to chase an ideal. All that I need, I can search within myself.

In the past, I've always heavily relied on the ones I hold dear. When opportunities moved them away, I feel estranged because the situation requires their absence. Suddenly, the pillars I had leaned on for so many years had been broken down and it is time for me to stand on my own.

Lately, I've invested a huge portion of myself in something else and the situation has slowly led me to believe that I am compromising who I am. I let my fears sink to inner depth, empowering it to be the bigger part of me. I was lost, but I firmly stand now, keeping in mind that all that is found, needs to be lost.

I can no longer allow myself to engage in the petty games that my mind plays. I have to make a conscious decision for my mind to work for me, instead of against me.

All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again. One thing at a time.

- love and light, adrenalene

No comments: