Friday, December 7, 2012

Well then, we're going private again, General. I know all I do is talk about me and my petty problems. No one wants to read that anyway.

This is my space to think and breathe so I should allow myself to be all that I am and all that I am not, even if that means that I am dejected by society standards.

Besides, I have always associated myself with being somewhat of a misfit. I guess some things will never change. Perhaps people never change, they only refrain. My heart feels a pain of a brain I can't explain, and it makes me feel like I'm going crazy.

I want to salute the ground because here I am, ground zero. I am nothing and my will has destroyed me time and time again, suggesting that I should surrender, because I've put up a fight, and I lost. You can't fight fate. Fate is wiser than any of your plans.

For the longest time, and more than I'd like to admit, my life revolves around a pivot. If the pivot is not strong, the inevitable happens and you sway in unsteady circles that eventually swallows you.

I made me my own master when I obeyed all my wants. Now, I am torn between emotion and reason because I am clearly no master nor the jack of anything. Jill sure tumbled on this one.

I know how verbalizing these contradicts alot of my actions. I've been doing that alot lately, which I guess is why this entry should be private since my conversation with my heart should be a sacred one.

I haven't been very good for myself lately. In me, infests a negative energy that seeks to destroy me, which I am solely responsible for, because I am the one who harbours the thoughts in my head. I am my own negative energy so it is me that has to be removed from the situation. I can't blame the things that happened that has led me here, because they were all my choices.

Everything is as it should be.

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