I can't sleep.
I am paralyzed by fear in both literal and figurative terms. This fear speaks louder than anything I've ever known and my mind has rendered it valid. I quickly ran to my comfort zone but I knew that silence would eventually overcome my cries, I would soon overstay my welcome and I would have to stand to face this alone.
My past is haunting me and I keep thinking about the things I could have done. I am drowning in retrospect and I cannot view any kind of prospect.
A ringing voice in my head tells me to have faith. I already know that the fact I fear this is due to my own lack of faith. Someone once told me that if you truly had faith, it would absolve you from your problems. I only have my limited capacity of understanding and my low threshold of acceptance.
So where then do I begin?
- love and light, adrenalene