When someone who loves me chooses something for me, I trust that they have chosen the best for me, even if I don't always understand it. Trust me, there are alot of things that I do not understand and for me to say this, it comes from a place that fights it as much as it wants to believe it. After all, you only fight for the things you believe in. So whatever they choose, no matter how painful it sounds, I can and will learn that their choice is the highest.
When the path you didn't choose, chooses you, I would think that the same rules apply. I don't know anything about fate but I'd like to think that the past is something that is lost on you, but this present moment and the future, it all exists simultaneously. In simpler words, there is only now, this very moment. This is how everything is already written because you're living the present and the future at the same time. The idea of a future is an elusive concept. Then I guess the only thing I can tell myself when it comes to the future, is to give it up, and give it all away. There is only a destination but it is as far as it is close. You don't need a compass to tell you you're in the right place, right now. You don't need a clock to tell you that the time is right, right now.
Sometimes, the path that is chosen for you is one you can easily avert from. Sometimes, it is a path you have no other choice but to take. Somehow, I think the more fixed a path looks, the more certain it is that it is meant for you. You were chosen for that path.
I apologise that when it comes to me, things did not turn out as you planned. Trust me when I say that although I never planned how my life should turn out, this was never something I had in mind. I understand how you feel because when something doesn't go according to choice, it could be wise to walk away from it, because you can.
Making a choice is a responsibility. Choosing to own something is a responsibility. The thing about ownership is that it makes you feel a sense of entitlement. When you feel you deserve more, you'll always get less. That's a universal bargain you can't negotiate with. A bargain that comes with a fixed price. Do you believe me if I told you that ownership means you have less because entitlement is something you cannot have?
I cannot take control of my circumstances, and I did not choose them, but because I am the caretaker of my circumstances, I have to assume responsibility. I have neither strength nor power in anything and I only live because it is a responsibility. It is a path you have chosen for me. So I should know that you really love me.
- love and light, adrenalene